i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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