Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
