the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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