ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
