so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
