kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
