No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
