I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
