I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
