It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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