Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just found puke in my bra..
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
