Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
