glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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