sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
