does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
