worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
