I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Its about making memories worth repressing
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
