Small penises have feelings too.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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