Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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