none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
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