life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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