You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
