Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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