There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize