We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
