i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
