Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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