If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize