Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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