OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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