So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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