Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
