How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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