so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
