Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
So vagazzling was a success
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