So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
