I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
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Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
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Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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