Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
