If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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