I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
