You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
