If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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