East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
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I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
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My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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