I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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