we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
NoShamevember. You game?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
