Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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