So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
