we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
