How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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