So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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