hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
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