Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
