theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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