You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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