let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize