I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
where are you?
Hypothermia
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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