sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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