Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
