I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
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