Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
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i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
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I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He's on the porch naked. Help.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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